"Give me all you got, I want your money not your life"

"Oh there aint no rest for the wicked,
Money don't grow on trees.
I got bills to pay, 
I got mouths to feed.
There ain't nothing in this world for free"
- Cage the Elephant, "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked"

Remember a while back when I discussed training my alt for a freighter within six months or so?

Due to a reshuffle of my skillplan, and some educated risks with the bare minimums of what I need, I've suddenly found that I could be flying one within a month or so. It seems crazy how fast I've got here, I expected it to take much longer. And that, in essence, is the problem.

No not that sort of problem...

I didn't expect to have to pay for it so soon, and as a result, my wallet is a little light at the moment (to say the least). Paying for a freighter is going to gut my resources. I would literally have to sell everything I owned, and even then I'll be a little short. Clearly that's not a position anyone wants to be in, so I was stumped. With my Incursion ship gone (and the recent Incursion nerfs), fast ISK is difficult to come by. The best I had would be Level 4 missions, and that would take months of grinding, which I feared would turn me into a zombie.

And then I hit upon an idea. Why not turn into a dirty beggar, on the streets of the Internet, and pitifully ask those better off than me financially, for their spare change? A part of me felt terrible for even considering it, but then again, if fifty people donated just five million each, I'm already two hundred and fifty million ISK closer than I was before. And though I'm ashamed to say it, that sounded much better than months of grinding missions.

Am I a bad person for using this photo? o.O

So, in order to fund my purchase of this beautiful hull, I started the Providence Fund. I estimated in order to pay for the hull and skillbooks at current prices, I would need around 1.42 billion ISK. Ouch. (I blame the mineral spike) I asked my CEO if I could use a corp wallet division to hold the funds, and he graciously agreed. Thanks to some early donators, I already have a few hundred million, but I'm still a way off that magic number. :(

So to you, the internet, I extend this plea for your spare ISK. Any amount, however great or small will be hugely appreciated. And as a small show of my appreciation, all donators who send more than two million ISK will be named alongside the amount they donated in a future blog post. I know it's not much, but I hope it atleast repays you somewhat for your time and effort in this :)

No doubt of course, you have some questions about this whole thing. Here's what I can think of off the top of my head:

Why should I give you my cold hard ISK?

The big question. My only real reason is that for a relatively small amount of ISK, you could help me immeasurably in EVE. That's really all I've got besides the "Thank you so much, to these people" blog post that will follow shortly after I hopefully purchase it :)

Why don't you just grind up the ISK anyway you lazy *******?

Because I'd rather spend the majority of my time doing interesting PvP that I can write about for you guys, rather than spend dozens, if not hundreds of hours working my way up missions to buy this ship. It might make me understand the value of it so to speak, but I think I'll burn out long before I break a billion :\

What are you going to use it for ?

Honest answer, hauling. (Shocked?) :P

More specifically, hauling large amounts of materials/ships/etc to and from trade hubs for both my corp and my corpmates. So infact, you'll be helping them too with a small donation.

If instead you mean the money, have no fear that it will all be spent on the Providence and related skillbooks. That's why I've asked to borrow a division of the corp wallet, so that there is no chance of me "accidentally" spending it :)

Wait, so you're putting nothing into this yourself?

As much as I would like that ( :P ), I am putting in some money myself, at around three hundred million. So when I (hopefully) reach around 1.1 billion, I'll add in my own cash and buy the Providence. Don't worry, I'm not funding this purely through laziness ;)

Why do I have to donate two million to get mentioned?

Because, dear reader, I know what internet trolls are like. They'll donate as little ISK as possible just to get a mention, along the lines of 0.10ISK (hell some of my corpmates already tried this). While you're perfectly welcome to donate this much, it would take a huge amount of time to find everybody who thought they were hilarious by donating such tiny amounts. So instead, I've put a small "effort" barrier (so to speak). Like I said, you're perfectly welcome to donate less than this. No hard feelings :)

Those are all the questions I can think of right now. If you have any more questions, feel free to leave a comment here or mail me in game, I'll reply as soon as possible!

And yes I realise this entire post sounds like one of those scam websites. Ergh I feel dirty...